May 2021 – Page 2 – Calm N Sense Health

Try Something New

When I was a young boy, my family took a trip to Massachusetts to visit relatives. One day, we went to an ice skating rink. After we all laced up our skates, everyone else but me went out onto the ice to skate. This was my first time skating, and I was scared of the ice. I thought for sure that I would fall down, and stay down. My dad and others talked to me, saying everything would be fine. Eventually, I stepped on the ice, holding tightly to the side boards. I spent a majority of time slowly trekking around the rink, while never letting go of the side boards. Then, I finally got the confidence to let go. And for the rest of the session, I loved skating. Even after I eventually fell down, I got up and continued skating with confidence.

Fast forward to my early teenage years, I began watching hockey after seeing my dad watch a playoff game. Watching hockey became a bonding event for my dad and I. The last game we watched together was one week before my dad passed away.

Fast forward to the age of 34. I decided that I did not want to simply watch other people live their lives; in this case, watching professional hockey players do their thing. I wanted to be a participant. So, I reached out to the local rink, and asked if they gave ice hockey lessons. Yes, they did. I bought used hockey equipment. And then, two mornings a week before work, I would drive to the rink around 6:30am for a one-on-one session with a former minor league hockey player. He had me do all sorts of drills: skating forwards and backwards, without the puck and with the puck, shooting. And if I did something wrong, he would sometimes tell me to push the goal to the other side of the rink as punishment. But, I actually enjoyed it, so it wasn’t really punishment.

Throughout my training time, I would ask my coach, “Am I ready for the adult league yet?” He would say no every time. Until one day, he finally said yes.

The Blues team had an opening during the summer league. I started the season at right wing on the first line. Although I had never played in a game, my years of watching did help in terms of knowing where to position myself on the ice. It was a hard workout. After every shift, I would come back to the bench winded and breathing heavy. And after every game, my legs would be extremely sore for a few days. I had a blast. Our team did well, and we wound up winning the championship, which the team had never done before. And in our next season, the winter league, we won the championship again. It was so much fun to experience. I played another few seasons before hanging up my skates.

Subsequently, I attended a four day adult hockey camp in Montreal. The head coach was a local university head coach. Two of his former university players were also coaches. Also, there was a former NHL goalie there who coached the goalies. This was a fantastic experience of learning new hockey skills, interacting with experienced hockey coaches, meeting new people, and exploring Canada. Beauty, eh?

Try something new. Step outside of your comfort zone. Be a participant in life. And experience the magic moments that it brings.

From Fear to Calm

(photo by Tengyart on Unsplash)

Be still inside, think less and feel more, to begin the path of healing. We need not be afraid of the challenges of life. Being afraid or in other negative emotional states takes away from our ability to make appropriate decisions regarding our well-being.

When I think back to those times in my life when everything flowed in a positive way for me, I was free from worry, totally in the moment and open to the flow of life. For some events, like running a great race, it was the repetitious practice that allowed for doing without thinking. In other cases, such as joking around with friends, there were times when my words and actions produced a deep connection with those I was with, without my trying to impress. These are the moments that occur when one is in the flow of life and these are the moments that we all want more of. These instances do not have to be random.

In our busy society, it is easy to get caught up in doing things day-after-day, year-after-year without even realizing the negative effects this has on the body. We get caught up in our habits and our life situations and do the best we can. Since “being” is not included in school curriculum, it is understandable that most individuals have a difficult time recognizing the potential of the right brain and how to tap into this power.

Many individuals hold on to dysfunctional patterns because they feel this is the best they have to offer themselves. This is not the case as there are ways to break through these self-imposed limitations. We may hold ourselves back unconsciously due to unnecessary fears. When we are able to uncover the reason behind our fears, we can subsequently alter the way we perceive these life situations and produce a shift in our beliefs from a place of fear to a place of calm acceptance of life events and the desire to forge ahead the best we can. If we can describe the negative emotional state we have, such as anxiety, and are able to identify the positive emotional state that we would like to achieve, such as confidence, we can then utilize the power of our mind/body unit to move towards and ultimately achieve this goal.

The thoughts and emotions that we feed our mind and body have a direct impact on either creating tension or diffusing it. To identify and then modify these thoughts/emotions towards those that diffuse tension, we first must learn how to recognize the tense feelings within our bodies. This requires the ability to pay attention to how we feel on the inside. The art of identifying how we feel inside requires shutting down the “monkey mind” from creating random, fearful thoughts. Instead create a silent voice, an open mind/body, and a consistent readiness to pay attention to the signals that our mind and body give us. Use this insight to modify our behaviors through the use of those practices that call to us and remain determined and steadfast in taking appropriate actions that help break old patterns and create productive responses instead.

I have recognized that when I am in the presence of a negative person, my body produces physical pain, which leads to a desire to leave the situation. I have practiced grounding myself, and have improved in this practice, although still inconsistently and with varying outcomes, both good and bad. In theory, the concept that we have control over our emotions and thoughts regardless of outside forces makes sense to me. But in practice, I find this to be a challenging hurdle to overcome. The good news is that the height of the hurdle is gradually lowering down to smaller heights.

In the past, I viewed the practice of visualization as utilizing mostly the sense of sight. Now it is clear that visualizing also includes the other senses as well. The more we practice our visualizations with the use of all our senses, the potential result of shifting our unconscious mind to match these visualizations improves dramatically.

Take an active and primary role in your own health and healing through the practice of quieting the mind, listening to the body and taking actions that are in direct alignment with your true purpose.

Love

(photo by Nick Fewings on Upsplash)

All of us have been blessed with an opportunity to experience the consciousness of life on this planet within the confines of our body, mind, and spirit to express ourselves as our unique self and to become a beam of inspiration for ourselves and others. We will have ups and downs throughout this experience. Yet, with all the good and bad things that occur both in our external environment and our inner body and mind, we have the power to experience love towards our self and others. This love has the power to manifest itself as a vehicle to achieve peace of mind, a healthy body and a deep meaning of purpose during the short time we are destined to be here. There are no limits to our potential as long as we remain present, follow our inner guidance system and pay attention for clues in the universe. Any thought we think up can become reality. We may only be a human being alive in this earthly consciousness for a brief time but our true essence does live on for eternity through love.

While we are not consciously aware of the vast array of hidden emotions and blocks that have built up in us throughout our life experiences, we have the ability to uncover and utilize the unlimited potential that we were born with. With attention and intention directed from ourselves in an appropriate way, we can live a deeply fulfilling life regardless of what happens to us. We are here to learn, grow and love. Underneath our emotions and thoughts, there is a stillness, a calmness that provides us with access to the deep depths of our unconsciousness where we can plant new seeds that strengthen us. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not happened yet. We are alive right now and owe it to ourselves and those who cross our path to lighten up and take on this challenge of life head on, using humor, peace and love to guide us through the maze before us. We have been bestowed the great gift of consciousness and freedom to act and feel the way we want to. We are “perfectly imperfect” and acceptance of our imperfections and accepting ourselves as we are allows us to gain confidence, creativity and determination to forge ahead.

Strike a balance of helping others and doing what you want to do, utilizing assertiveness to say no to others without harsh criticism towards yourself for saying no. Follow your dreams regardless of the external forces that will try to put a kibosh on your desires. We are human beings with intuitive powers to assess what is right or wrong for us. Gone are the days of doing things to please others. Do what makes you feel good and others will adapt to your new way of life. It doesn’t matter what other people think as long as your actions are moral and come from a place of self-love with positive intent.

Assertiveness is a key aspect of self-healing. Holding in negative emotions over the long-term hurts us and can lead to illness. Why would we consciously want to hurt ourselves. We don’t. We have learned many lessons throughout our lifetime. Some of these lessons may not serve us anymore and must be released to free up space in our energy field. Then we can attract more appropriate energy that supports us in a kind and gentle way.

The ability to accept the words and actions of family, friends and others without trying to control the situation frees up so much energy. Unconditional acceptance of myself and others has been a block for me. But as I shift the direction of my mind’s focus in conjunction with working towards quieting the mind, it does become easier to be present without taking on the negative energy of others. I can still support others during their trying times without bringing myself down. In order to be a support person for others, I need to take care of my needs first. Through conscious attention towards my inner being, I will be able to recognize when I have energy and when I need to pull back and recharge my batteries. I have learned to say no to the requests of others. And when I do say yes, I am able to speak up and take on these tasks on my own terms. Well, at least I am beginning to recognize that I do have this ability and have been experimenting with it.

I now see the benefits of experiencing pain in life. It is a way for our body to communicate with us, to motivate us to make positive life changes. If we experienced no pain, we would probably spend more time allowing our ego to take over to experience pleasure all the time, without giving back to the world. Those individuals who have experienced difficulties may more readily recognize life as a gift that should not be squandered, and thus may have a heightened desire to shift their focus towards being an agent for positive change for ourselves, others and the environment that sustains us.

Live every day as though it is your last by doing what makes you happy and send loving kindness to yourself and others often.

Parental Caregiver

During the NJ Sandy hurricane in Oct 2012, I was in Hawaii with my parents. We missed the hurricane, damage, and blackout, although a portion of a tree did fall into my yard and fence, which I cleaned up upon our return.

I was already in part time caregiver mode back then. My parents enjoyed traveling throughout their lives, however it had been a while since their last vacation. Mom wanted to take what turned out to be their final big vacation. Dad did not want to go, but gave in. His dementia symptoms had already begun. Mom realized that the two of them could not go off on their own. So I was invited to join them. The trip was a balancing act for me. Knowing my role, I helped out my parents, and also took advantage of alone time when I could. I experienced my one and only helicopter ride, overlooking breathtaking scenery. That was fun.

Flash forward to Jan 2016. As I left my parents’ home one day, my Dad, who’s dementia had gotten worse, said to me at the front door, “Don’t leave me alone”. I knew that it was time for him to get additional care. However, when I confronted my parents with the idea of getting a professional caregiver, they both adamantly said no. Looking back, I could have gone against their wishes and hired a professional immediately. After all, they spent a lot of money for long term care insurance. Instead, I chose to move in with them. For me, the timing was right. After fourteen years working at the same company, I was struggling in my most recent job. The combination of work stressors and part-time caregiver stressors were too much for me. So I left my job, fixed up and rented out my home, and moved in with Mom and Dad. As it turned out, my caregiver role was the most difficult job I have had. This is a challenging role for one person. Yet somehow I got through it, although my health did suffer. While I knew of the importance of “caring for the caregiver”, I simply could not figure out how to make it work.

The original plan was for me to take the night shift, and my mom take the day shift. We purchased a bed alarm. So every time Dad got out of bed, an alarm would go off in my room. I’d wake up, and help him out. But when it was time for me to go to sleep at the end of my shift, my Mom, who had her own challenges, would continually come into my room to discuss things on her mind. Needless to say, I did not get any sleep. So, I then insisted on Dad going to adult day center from 10am-2pm during the day with bus pickup, and getting a professional night time caregiver. The day center turned out to be a success. However, it took a while to find a quality night time caregiver. Once I got up to find my Dad wandering around the house while the caregiver was sleeping. Luckily, we ultimately found a great caregiver, who was extremely supportive, especially at the end of Dad’s hospice care.

Taking Dad and Mom to all their doctor appointments was a big learning experience for me, as I interacted with their doctors, listening, asking questions, and then following doctor protocols at home.

Subsequently, I cared for Mom, who had anxiety and mild dementia. I did my best to keep her involved in groups and activities that she enjoyed. However, it was a struggle to get her to participate. If I took her, she still enjoyed attending political and homeowner association board meetings, as well as dance class. For a while, she did not feel ready to attend the adult day center. But eventually, she gave in, attending a few days a week, and enjoying certain activities there. I eventually brought in caregivers to keep Mom company for two purposes. First to give Mom a connection with another female, and second, to give myself time off. However, it was a challenge to find someone that Mom felt a connection with. After trial and error, we found someone who worked out well, at least for a period of time.

Eventually, the caregiver role became too much for me. I was tired all the time, and had no life of my own. And my own difficulties with the situation caused challenges between myself and my caring brother, who lived far away. Ultimately, the day center social worker recommended we try an assisted living facility. Mom reluctantly agreed to try it out. It was not a good fit, as there was too much alone time, and she was getting lost. After a month, we got lucky. A local nursing home, with a great reputation in assisting individuals with varied levels of dementia, accepted Mom into the mild dementia wing. I was extremely pleased with the facility and the staff. I still visited almost every day, but I felt comfortable that she was well taken care of. Unfortunately, while Mom did not get Covid-19, the isolation rules in the nursing home took its toll. I was no longer allowed to visit, although we spoke on the phone periodically, and got to chat via a video call once a week.

And ultimately, during her final two weeks in a hospital, she was left alone most of the time due to the Covid-19 restrictions. I was finally allowed to visit her the last few days of her life.

Although very challenging, I am very happy to have spent all this time with my parents during their final years. I had many enjoyable moments during my stay. My parents and I had many bonding moments during this time, for which I am grateful.

Raise Your Vibration

(photo by Israa Ali on Unsplash)

Everything is energy and vibrates at varying frequencies. Disease and negativity vibrate at lower frequencies. The ability to maintain a higher, healthy, and vibrant mind and body frequency can help connect an individual to other healthy people and circumstances.

The following paragraphs delve into a variety of topics that we can work on, which will help raise our vibration.

PREVENTION MENTALITY: It is optimal to focus on prevention of disease, as opposed to waiting until we do not feel well to then take healthy action steps. However, when the body is out of balance and not feeling well, it is possible to utilize various methods to get back to health. It is important to take a lead role in creating a healthy lifestyle. It requires changing habits and that requires a desire for change.

MEANINGFUL LIFE: Identify how you spend your time and eliminate things that no longer work for you. Write down your goals on index cards and use grammar in the present tense as though the goal has already been achieved. Think positive thoughts and take action steps that lead you towards your goals. There really is enough time in the day to create the life that you want.

INTERNAL FOCUS: It is important to focus some attention internally, even when participating in external events. Breathing exercises and meditation practices can help bring focus inward. By being focused on how our body and mind feel during various situations, our intuitive abilities have a chance to emerge and grow. While the analytical mind is a necessary tool to make decisions, so too is using our intuition.

SELF-COMPASSION: Be kind to yourself. Negative self talk lowers the body vibration down, which breeds more negativity. Positive self talk will lift the body vibration up. Act towards yourself in the same way that you want others to act towards you.

EXPRESS YOURSELF: Don’t keep emotions bottled up. Unexpressed thoughts remain inside the body and might even produce physical pain. Talking about current concerns with someone else can help release these thoughts from your body and at the same time help you work through to a solution. Also, assertiveness is important. Speak up to ensure that your voice is heard. Going along with someone else’s plan when you really do not want to will cause internal conflict and could lead to a buildup of anger if done too often. It is important to learn how to manage anger. It is okay to get angry, but it is important to funnel this anger energy in an appropriate way.

NUTRITION: Our internal organs require proper, balanced nutrition in the form of natural substances to assist in achieving optimal health. Most contemporary foods found in the supermarket contain processed ingredients that were not available in the past. These processed foods are more difficult for the body to digest, causing the digestive system to work harder. And because these processed foods contain little nutritional value, the ingredients negatively affect our internal organs and the arteries that transport the broken-down food to our internal organs through blood flow. A balanced meal consists of protein, carbohydrates and healthy fat, which assists the body in maintaining a consistent energy level. Vegetables and water are two important staples that contribute to a healthy body and mind.

QUALITY SLEEP: Do you get enough sleep? Put down the electronics, and create pre-sleep rituals that switch the mind FROM awake, analytical thinking, TO unconscious, intuitive being.

Explore these mind and body practices, and experience the benefits of raising your frequency.

The Human Emotional Vibration Chart (www.thriveglobal.com)